so i cleared my throat today and

and then someone poked me in the side so I laughed

and THEN I FUCKING SNEEZED

and that’s what it’s like being on the second day of your period

i hope this has been educational

bootipop:

When your hand is wet and you grab some ice and it does the thing

disney-pixars:

When I was a kid, I always thought I’d be just like Kim Possible. Turns out, I am Wade. 

xkyuketsuki:

heroinhopes:

thunder-blitz:

thunder-blitz:

thunder-blitz:

SOMEBODY IS PLAYING A PIANO AND IT’S MIDNIGHT HERE WHY

UPDATE: I FIGURED OUT THEY’RE PLAYING “MY HEART WILL GO ON”

UPDATE: I JUST OPENED MY DOOR AND YELLED “JACK” THE MUSIC STOPPED AND I CAN HEAR SOMEBODY RUNNING DOWN THE HALL ABOVE ME SHOUTING “ROSE” OMG

PLEASE TELL ME YOU TWO MET AND GOT MARRIED BECAUSE THIS SHIP HAS SAILED

YOU DON’T WANT THAT SHIP TO SAIL IT WILL EVENTUALLY SINK

What you said:  I'm from Australia
What they heard:  G'day mate, crikey this weather's crazy. I'll put another shrimp on the barbie after I ride my kangaroo, stone the flamin crows mate I think a dingo ate my baby.

mrscalypsojackson:

I HATE WHEN YOU TRY TO SHARPEN A PENCIL AND IT DOES THE THING